love, pandemic style

by Anna Collins | Ask Anna

Online dating is difficult enough and for nearly a year we’ve had the added stress of dating through a pandemic.

One saving grace is the added communication time.

Recently divorced and new to dating sites? It’s a whole new world out there.

During these odd “pandemic” times, we don’t want to dive right in and meet someone in person if we don’t know if their job is high risk for catching the virus, what their hygeine practices are or whether or not they have the same feelings as we do when it comes to wearing a mask.

Once we have established we are in agreement on several practices, what’s next? Where do we go?

There are more options now than when the pandemic first began. Last spring we were under fairly strict “stay at home orders” and I had just ventured on to a new dating app. Timing is everything.

One gentlemen I met on this new dating site suggested we meet at a fast food restaurant parking lot and after having procured our meal, park next to each other and open our car windows. As nice as he seemed to be, I just couldn’t see this being a productive first meeting and we decided to wait. As it turned out, it was a bullet dodged.

As we communicated more through text and instant messaging, over the phone, etc., he mentioned that since we had talked for so long, it was time for him to give me some information. He mentioned that women generally didn’t call him back after releasing what he knew and what he thought well, about everything. I was caught between immense curiousity and gently pressing the “end” button. Curiosity won.

I am not going to divulge his inner most thoughts and beliefs, I will simply say we did not move forward with meeting.

In this odd way I have found pandemic dating to be more helpful than hindrance. We have time to talk, discuss our inner feelings, inner demons and world politics. We have the option of saying yea or nay without investing too much time and meeting two, three, or four times before uncomfortable subjects arise.

I have been on my share of dates where we were three for four meets deep before the freak-flag began to fly and if you are part of the dating sphere, you know it’s frustrating to have invested time into talking, meeting, dating when it’s obviously not a match and shouldn’t have made it that far.

I look forward to sharing more subjects, reviews of dating sites, safety tips and a few personal stories. Now it’s time for simple tips to make dating life a bit more safe.

Simple safety tips for your first, second and yes, even third date.

Don’t cave to pressure to meet quickly.
If you aren’t quite comfortable yet, if you’re instincts tell it’s just too soon, go with your gut. If he is the guy for you, he will wait until you are ready for a face to face.

Red flags are just that. Red flags
We dismiss these so quickly in the beginning, yet see them so clearly at the end. Again, go with your instincts.

Always meet in public
You’ve met guy, you’ve communicated well, have things in common and are ready to see each other in person. Here a couple of tips:

  • Arrive in your own vehicle. Do not allow him come to your home and pick you up.
  • Park in a well-lit public area close to the building if possible. If he walks you to your car after the date you want to be visible to the general public.

Watch your back while driving home
Be aware, be vigilant. Make sure you aren’t followed home.

Questions? Comments….I would love to hear from you.
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